Marriage

I've been in a nearly two year relationship with a man I very much love. Recently, my mind contemplated on marriage while I dreamt. It was present day in this dream and Alex and I were about to tie the knot. What a daydreamer would imagine to be a wonderful time in one's life was absolutely not in my dream. Everyone, friends and family, were getting irritated and wierd around me. I felt odd doubts and anxiety that I've never felt before--like the fearfulness I felt about to jump off a cliff where twenty to twenty-five feet below me lay a medium-sized body of clear water---it was sport. But marriage is for life. So in my dream I was scared in ways that other's my age and in my time can't imagine. How vivid a night! I decided, hours before the horribly gathered ceremony---apparently unprofessional and lousy in set up---to cancel everything. I woke up astonished and embarrassed---how could my mind come up with such crazy situations?

I woke up realizing that me, myself, and I were still in need of personal development. Where things are now, I need to focus on me and my education. Education and experience. Life experience is necessary for personal growth. I've realized my place and I've realized my potential.

I know that I'm in a great relationship--stable, mutually loved, confident, growing, and fun.
But I've come so far in my first half of college--in intelligence and social aspects. I need to fine tune who I am and need to develop who I want to be and what I want to do. Many options are still available for me and the world is at my feet to explore. Taking one step at a time, with eyes and thoughts wide open, I try to absorb what I can in hopes to further enrich myself with intelligence.

But in many special cases there are those who feel that it is their time to seal their hearts for a certain someone. I wish them all the strength and happiness because in everything we experience, there will always be obstacles. But I hope that there will be more bliss and love than anything else.

Life is good.